So many things I want to ask HER. How do I know when I am in a good state to
SEE and hear HER voice, Her mind and Presence? As I sit and completely
relax, letting go all earthly thoughts, considerations, worries and fears, a
deep relaxation comes over me, and as I gaze at the tilma of Our Lady of
Guadalupe (my chosen form of God, it can be any image of the Feminine
Divine, Saint or Avatar) my physical sight also relaxes and the room turns
to soft, sort of foggy light, and all things seem to tingle with auras of
light, like I see light instead of the things themselves, and then, I notice
that my breathing has involuntarily become quite deep just as when one
sleeps. My conscious mind is partially asleep and now I can hear the 'still
small voice', the Atman, my MotherGod. This does not take long IF I HAVE
REFRAINED FROM TELEVISON, CHATTING AND MORTAL CONCERNS, it is only 2-3
minutes when in proper preparation.
Rasa: MotherGod, whenever I put out my messages from you, I get assaulted
by letters of disagreement. Yesterday it was people saying that it is not
normal to be without friends, that Jesus had friends. Of course, on a
certain level, I agree. What do you say to this?
MOTHERGOD: EVERYONE, ALL SAINTS AND AVATARS, AND YOU ALSO, WILL CONTINUE
HAVING FRIENDS ON CERTAIN LEVELS, BUT THE LEVEL OF WHICH I SPEAK IS AN
ABSOLUTE LEVEL, THE LEVEL OF PRIORITIES AND DETACHMENT, WHICH ALSO JESUS,
ALL SAINTS AND AVATARS MAINTAINED. THEY HAD 'FRIENDS' WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE
'FRIENDS' AND CALLED THEMSELVES 'FRIENDS,' BUT AT THE TIME THAT JESUS LIVED,
NONE OF THEM WERE ABSOLUTE FRIENDS EXCEPT HOLY MARY, SOME OF THE WOMEN, AND
CONSIDER WHEN JESUS WAS IN TROUBLE AND SWEATING BLOOD AND ASKED HIS 'FRIENDS'
TO STAY AWAKE WITH HIM AND THEY ALL WENT TO SLEEP, COULD NOT MAINTAIN THE
HORROR OF WHAT THEY ALL SENSED WAS COMING, A TERRIBLE DREAD CAME OVER JESUS
AND IT EXHAUSTED THE WEAK DISCIPLES. THEY COULD NOT SUSTAIN OR SUPPORT
WITHOUT A DOUBT, HOLY MARY IN HER ORATORY WAS SUSTAINING AND SUPPORTING
JESUS, AND SHE WAS HIS CLOSEST FRIEND, AND MARY MAGDALENE AND OTHER WOMEN
SUPPORTED HIM IN THEIR PRIVACY, AND DID NOT LET HIM DOWN AT ALL.
NOW YOU, RASA, YOU CANNOT GET YOUR 'FRIENDS' TO DO MUCH FOR YOU RIGHT NOW,
WHEN EVERYTHING IS EASY, EFFORTLESS AND THERE ARE NO ARRESTS, NO GREAT
SCANDAL, NO TERROR OR DREAD. IMAGINE IF SOMETHING AWFUL HAPPENED, LIKE YOU
GOT ARRESTED AND YOUR DISCIPLES WERE IN DANGER. PROBABLY OTHERS WOULD COME
OUT OF THE WOODWORK TO HELP, JUST AS THEY DID DURING THE S WAR, AND THEN
THEY WOULD RETREAT AGAIN. YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS THAT WILL SUSTAIN YOU, JUST AS
JESUS HAD NO PHYSICAL FRIENDS AMONG THE MALES. NOW AFTER JESUS DIED, AND THE
HOLY SPIRIT CAME UPON THE ASSEMBLY, THEN THEY DID BECOME TRUE FRIENDS, AND
CONFORMED TO THE SPIRIT OF JESUS, AND BECAME OTHER CHRISTS, AND THEY DID
TAKE UP THE CROSS AND CARRY IT, AND DIE ON IT. BUT UNTIL THE HOLY SPIRIT
CAME, THEY WERE NOT FULL-CLASS, BONA FIDE FRIENDS.
Rasa: What you call a 'friend' is an intimate person who loves you
unconditionally and will not run away in trouble, and will hold you up and
sustain you in your deepest need. How do I know if I have such friends when
nothing terrible has happened? Perhaps they would surprise me.
MOTHERGOD: TO SOME DEGREE, ONE OR TWO MIGHT COME FORWARD, BUT BELIEVE YOU
ME, THE CROSS WOULD FALL ON YOU AND THEIR HELP WOULD BE PIECEMEAL.
Rasa: What about husbands and wives? When they marry, some of these people
do support one another in the roughest of times, like illness, mental
illness, arrests and horrible disasters, and they hold on to each other
through these things, and without such help, people might collapse and have
MOTHERGOD: MY POINT TO YOU IS DO NOT SEEK INTIMATE FRIENDS RIGHT NOW, ONLY
ME. IF DISASTER BEFALLS YOU, PEOPLE, ONE OR TWO, MIGHT COME THROUGH AND
HELP, BUT HAVING AN INTIMATE FRIEND DAY BY DAY WOULD INTERFERE WITH YOUR
CLOSE MYSTICAL CONTACT WITH ME, THAT IS THE GIST OF WHAT I AM SAYING, THE
ABSOLUTE TRUTH I AM CONVEYING TO YOU. PEOPLE DO CLING TO EACH OTHER FOR
SUPPORT, I WANT YOU TO CLING TO ME ONLY, AND DO NOT WANT YOU TO HOLD ON TO
PEOPLE AS INSURANCE OR GUARANTEE AGAINST DISASTER OR GREAT WANT.
Rasa: I do see now. Cool it with people, heat it up only for God, my
Mother, my Source, Solace, Inspiration, Motivation and You alone are my
insurance, guarantee and Power, and leave people be, just let them go their
own way, and be abstracted as much as I can.
I do notice as the days go by as people are fading away in the background
and I do see, when I speak to them, how some are so totally miserable. And
why are they miserable - because of the common state of mortals, living in
the thoughts and feelings of the flesh, the world and even the devil. As
people sink into this state, much devilish content gets mixed in, and there
you have the Purgatory and Hell on earth, in various degrees. And leaving
all of this is the state of Bliss and Nirvana, where one is free, and then,
there we have Happiness. This is what you want for me and everyone, but
everyone will not pay the price. They insist on holding on to people,
things, and the things of the world, and their addictions, delusions, sex,
entertainment, and all the normal things of life. How sad the human race is,
how unhappy. And how they cling to all which makes them unhappy, and then
upon appearing in Purgatory, hahaha, they ask God to give them me as the
minister of their help, and there, I start helping them, the ones who
refused to abstract themselves on earth, who refused to pay the price.
MotherGod, they are also loathe to give up sex. I am almost afraid to bring
it up, because of the hysteria that comes through. Whenever I have had
articles on celibacy and the need to give up sex, I have had the strongest
backlash, and that, even from religious people professing tolive in
monasteries, practicing meditation and claiming various forms of
enlightenment. They go berserk, again, claiming sex is normal and natural,
and even though I disclaim that I am speaking of reaching the higher
mystical levels, the levels of highest vision and even seeing God face to
face, they cling to the notion they can reach the highest levels of Vision
while yet holding onto sex. Is this not laughable?
MOTHERGOD: IT WOULD BE FUNNY WERE IT NOT SO PATHETIC.
TO UNDERSTAND WHERE THEY ARE AT, THESE PEOPLE WHO CLAIM ENLIGHTENMENT, JUST
LOOK AT THEIR GROUPS, WHERE THEY CHAT. HOW MANY OF THEM HAVE THE EXPERIENCES
OF GOD? THIS IS THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING. IF ONE IS IN THE ABSTRACTED, HOLY
AND SPIRITUAL PLACE, ONE HAS VISIONS AND EXPERIENCES OF A HOLY NATURE AND
ONE DWELLS UPON ORIGINAL THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, AND INTIMATIONS OF GOD. WHAT
THESE PEOPLE ARE DOING IS READING BOOKS AND MOSTLY TALKING ABOUT THEM. THEY
WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW HOW SMART THEY ARE. (THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO THE TRUE,
HOLY SCHOLARS WHO STUDY SCRIPTURE FOR TEACHING, THESE ARE SINCERE AND
BEAUTIFUL SOULS, NOT JUST TRYING TO IMPRESS OTHERS.) WHAT THE NOT SO SINCERE
BOOKWORMS ARE DOING IS READING A LOT, REGURGITATING IT BACK ONTO THESE
GROUPS, AND THEN, WANTING EVERYONE TO KNOW HOW SMART THEY ARE. BUT THEY DO
NOT HAVE THE VISIONS, THE EXPERIENCES, AND WHY? BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT DOING
THE WORK. IF YOU WANT TO BE A KARATE EXPERT, THEN YOU HAVE TO GET IN THERE
AND DO THE KICKS, YOU HAVE TO STRETCH, AND MOVE, AND WORK DAILY, SO THAT ON
THAT OCCASION OF A FIGHT WITH ANOTHER STUDENT, YOU WILL DEMONSTRATE YOUR
ABILITY. YOU CANANOT READ ABOUT MARTIAL ARTS IN A BOOK TO BECOME AN EXPERT
MARTIAL ARTIST, IT TAKES WORK, OTHERWISE YOU ARE A FORENSIC, NOT AN
PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO EXPERIENCES OF THE SAINTS ARE NOT SAINTS. SOONER OR
LATER, NO MATTER HOW BUSY A PERSON IS, HOW DISTRACTED, THE SAINTLY
EXPERIENCES WILL COME THROUGH.
Rasa: That is such a good point. Many people on groups which purport
enlightenment or spirituality are in theory, ascended souls. They want
people to believe they are, and when I present my experiences of God, these
very same people, like rabid wolves, pounce upon me, tearing me apart,
saying I am a phony and a charlatan. Is this jealousy? They judge that I am
incapable of having visitations and visions of God, that God would not deign
to honor me with such, and that they, on the contrary, are in possession of
MOTHERGOD: THE WORLD IS FULL OF THEM AND THEY ATTACK EVERY MYSTIC AND
PROPHET WHO EVER LIVED, THEY HATE EVERYONE WHO HAS AUTHENTIC AND TRUE
EXPERIENCES OF GOD, BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT THESE EXPERIENCES, AND THEY WANT
TO STAND TALL AND ABOVE OTHERS, AND CANNOT HUMBLE THEMSELVES. HOW CAN GOD
GIVE EXPERIENCES TO SUCH RABID WOLVES? DID SHE GIVE EXPERIENCES TO THE
PHARISEES AND SADDUCEES WHO PERSECUTED JESUS AND TRIED TO TRAP HIM? THEY
WANT TO JUDGE YOUTHE WAY THEY JUDGED JESUS, AND THEY WANT TO DESTROY YOUR
MINISTRY, IF THEY COULD, BUT THEY CAN'T.
Rasa: Speak more about sex, MotherGod, and how it deters mystical vision.
MOTHERGOD: YOU DO WANT TO START THAT RIOT, DON'T YOU, HAHAHA. YES,
ATTACHMENT TO SEX PREVENTS SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES, AND WHY? IT IS THE MIND
AND HEART. THE MIND MUST BE FREE AND THE HEART MUST BE ALSO, TO RISE ABOVE
THE EARTH AND THE FLESH, AND TO FLY IN MYSTICAL VISION. PEOPLE CANNOT GIVE
UP SEX BECAUSE IT IS A BASIC INSTINCT AND IT GIVES THEM PLEASURE, AND AT THE
VERY LEAST, THEY WANT TO HOLD ONTO MASTURBATION. BUT WHILE ONE HAS A SEX
DRIVE, IT TIES THEM TO THE EARTH AND HOLDS THEIR ENERGY DOWN, AND SO, THEY
CANNOT FLY IN MYSTICAL POWER. PEOPLE SUCH AS YOU WHO STRUGGLED MIGHTILY
AGAINST SEX ARE REWARDED WITH THE VISION OF GOD, AND IF THE OTHERS STRUGGLED
AGAINST IT THEY WOULD LIKEWISE BE REWARDED, BUT THERE IS NO REWARD IF THEY
GIVE INTO IT.
Rasa: The thing about sex is that people have more power than they think
they have, but they lack courage to try. I remember how hard it was to
become celibate, one of the hardest things I had ever done, but delivering
the greatest reward once the celibacy was anchored. What was my secret? How
can I convey to others the goodness of celibacy when they are so afraid?
MOTHERGOD: FEW WILL FOLLOW CELIBACY, MOST ARE FALSE - LOOK AT THE PRIESTS.
FEW TREAD THESE PATHS OF MYSTICAL PREPARATION, AND AGAIN, LOOK AT THE PROOF
OF THE PUDDING. THEY HAVE NO MYSTICAL EXPERIENCES, AND YOU DO; THEY DID NOT
SACRIFICE, SO, NO REWARD. YOU CANNOT ACHIEVE THE CROWN OF MARTYRDOM LEST YOU
ARE A MARTYR.
YOUR SECRET? NOTHING COMPLICATED, JUST INTENSE DESIRE FOR GOD. YOU READ
SAINTS LIVES, YOU KNEW THEY WERE CELIBATES, AND YOU WANTED WHAT THEY HAD, SO
THIS SPURRED YOU ON. IF THERE IS NOT ENOUGH MOTIVATION, PEOPLE WILL NEVER DO
Rasa: And that word suffering, what a riot it evokes. God does not want us
to suffer, they scream. But to sacrifice, there is temporary suffering. The
flesh wants to give in to sex, and hot fudge sundaes which make us fat, the
flesh wants to have a 'good time' instead of working, the flesh wants to
chat and watch television instead of being disciplined toward meditation and
spiritual reading. Is this not suffering to some degree? What about when we
are wronged and abused and we have to swallow it and forgive and forget?
What about when we have to humble ourselves to someone to ask for a favor,
to get their help toward Mission, and we have to be meek and humble because
they will not respond otherwise, that is a little suffering. Why do people
hate suffering so much, when it is absolutely necessary?
MOTHERGOD: THAT IS THE ETERNAL QUESTION, AND THERE ARE MANY ANSWERS SUCH AS
WEAKNESS, STUBBORNESS, IMMATURITY, CONFUSION, LACK OF TRAINING AND GUIDANCE,
BAD EXAMPLES AND HABITS, DARKNESS, DELUSION, TEMPTATIONS, ETC. THERE ARE
HUNDREDS OF REASONS FOR DOING WRONG AND MANY MORE FOR DOING RIGHT. IF IT WAS
EASY GOD WOULD NOT HAVE TO SEND AVATARS AND SAINTS TO HELP.
Rasa: These people who are so low, of course they persecute the good, do
they not? Because the good shame them and infuriate them, the darkness
hates the Light. It is no wonder that few come forward as messengers of God,
unless they have some insulation and work within an accepted church where
they are protected.
MOTHERGOD: THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN HUMANS, BE GLAD I AM TAKING YOU AWAY
FROM THEM, WANT NOTHING FROM THEM AND BE SATISFIED WITH THE LITTLE YOU GET
FOR MISSION. JUST BE HAPPY WITH THOSE FEW SOULS WHO AGREE AND BELIEVE AND
HELP OUR CAUSE, AND A COUPLE OF HOLY SOULS YOU KNOW, JUST BE GLAD WITH THAT
AND WANT LITTLE OF THE HUMAN RACE.
Rasa: Mother, can we end on a more positive, uplifting note? To most, this
would sound dreary. Yesterday as I gazed at the black television and
thought of having no friends, a slight fear came over me. What courage I
have, a real Joan of Arc! But it is these little sacrifices that beget those
great eventual visions, once one has held fast to them. I will hold fast
unto your disciplines, as I do expect spiritual rewards, that will make my
life Heaven. Perhaps you will grant me these things for Christmas. It would
be the first happy Christmas I have had in many years.
This leads me to ponder, how loathe people are to admit their sorrow, their
sufferings, loneliness, and feelings of loss, despair, isolation. It is like
admitting failure or lack and this makes people feel vulnerable, as we must
all keep up a stiff upper lip, a facade of togetherness, before a world that
would ravage us in our weakness. I am not even allowed to show 'weakness' to
my devotees, lest they fall for lack of leadership. Yet if I did not know
sorrow and loss there would be no empathy. Do you have last words of joy to
MOTHERGOD: WE MIGHT END WITH THE FACT THAT YOU ARE HAPPIER THAN YOU HAVE
BEEN IN MONTHS, IN SPITE OF ALL BEING SAID, AND MORE TOGETHER, AND NO
ANXIETY OR DEPRESSION OR LOSS AND THE BLISS IS INCREASING. ALL THAT ONE
GIVES UP - WHAT IS IT WORTH - A HILL OF BEANS, A PILE OF DIRT. HOLD ON TO
THE INSIDE, THE INTERIOR LIFE IS ALL, THE EXTERIOR PASSES AND FADES AWAY,
THE INTERIOR IS YOUR LIFELINE TO GOD, AND IT CONTAINS ALL GOOD. TO LIVE FOR
THE EXTERIOR IS LIKE HOLDING ONTO A RAIL IN A TSUNAMI, BOTH YOU AND THE RAIL
WILL BE SWEPT AWAY. HOLD ON TO THE ETERNAL, UNCHANING, INFINITE GOD AND THE
TRUTH AND BLISS OF GOD.
Rasa: Amen, MotherGod, all Glory to You forever.