Dear Mother Rasa,
I read your comments to William's response to your article, Why The Goose
Hangs Around the House, and I wanted to say that I feel your pain.
I have many of the same complaints that you have. If it's alright with you,
I'd like to add my thoughts to your comments (added within the text below).
William, you are ever thinking of sex. When I think of dominance and
submission, I think bigger picture. Sex is the least of my interests. In
fact, that is what annoys me so much about males thinking in terms of
Matriarchy/Patriarchy - they are obsessed with SEX, you included. You are
just a man, after all!
My ideas about the subject are from the point of view of a Mother, a Pastor,
a person who cares about all of life on this planet. Sex, sex, sex - is all
men think about and that is part of the problem. They say they don't but
great scientists like Professor Bryan Sykes explain that the entire cycle of
greed, killing and enslaving others has to do with the drive of the Y
chromosome to reproduce itself - in other words, all this evil stems from
men and their desire for sex and reproduction. And sadly, you teach this in
your own articles which I agree with, males want to kill the offspring of
the other guy in war, and cares only about his own progeny.
So I am thinking big picture, not sex. Sex is one of the problems. Let's
have less sex and more love. Let's have less people and love those we have.
You said 'Make Love, Not War.' I say let's stop war and sex and think Love.
My ideas of dominance are drastically different than a males. When male
thinks of dominance he thinks of falling to the floor and licking your
boots, or kissing your ass or worshipping your feet or body. As I said, it's
all sex. They have hundreds of fetishes. Here is my idea of dominance:
The luxury of going out somewhere with another lady or by myself, and not
bieng accosted or harrassed by males. Males not thinking they can
automatically come us to us and interrupt our conversation, as if our world
has to be centered around males. This has always been one of my pet peeves -
you try to have a conversation with another female, and they butt in. And
they will not go away even if you ask them, you practically have to get the
police. They think they have the right to just push their way into two women
having a conversation - why is that?
(SuzyQ comment) Well, that would be nice, if men wouldn't push so hard. When
I used to be a lesbian and spent a lot of time in lesbian chat rooms, the
males would always come in and bother us, pretending to be lesbians, and
when they tell you they are men and you give them the chance to be your
friend, eventually they end up complaining, "Don't be so hateful to males."
It's hard not to be hateful. They say that women whine and complain, but
they can whine and complain to no end also.
One time when I was fed up and vented to another woman online, I said to
her, "Why is it alright for men to make their men-only clubs and work to
keep women out, but as soon as women make their own space away from males,
the males have to barge in and complain?"
The woman said to me, "The answer is easy: men have fragile egos." And she
went on to explain how she works as a stripper, and every male who comes
into her club wants her to look at him only and make him feel as though he's
the most important person in the room.
RASA RESPONSE TO SUSY: I HAVE BEEN SUFFERING WITH THESE ASSHOLES ALL MY
LIFE, SINCE I WENT INTO THE ADULT WORLD. IT TOOK ME SO MANY YEARS TO WISE UP
AND SEE WHAT WAS BEHIND IT ALL, BUT WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG, EVEN THOUGH I DID
NOT UNDERSTAND THE PSYCHOLOGY OR THE HISTORY BEHIND IT, I WAS INFURIATED. IT
IS THE FACT THAT THEY WILL GIVE YOU NO PRIVACY OR RESPECT, ESPECIALLY IF YOU
ARE WITH ANOTHER FEMALE.
IF I AM ALONE I GET LESS ANGRY THAN WHEN I AM WITH A FEMALE. SO MANY TIMES,
EVEN RECENTLY, I WANTED TO JUST TALK WITH A FEMALE. SO YOU GO OUT, SIT DOWN
TO DINNER, AND HERE THEY COME. IN A PARK, HERE THEY COME. I AM TRYING TO
HAVE A CONVERSATION, AND THEY WON'T LET YOU.
THERE ARE TWO REASONS FOR THIS: ONE THEY ARE EMOTIONALLY INSECURE, NEEDY AND
DEPENDENT ON WOMEN. PART TWO OF THIS IS THAT THEIR BEHAVIOR IN THE PAST HAS
BEEN FORGIVEN AND EXCUSED, THERE ARE FEW PENALTIES FOR SUCH BEHAVIOR AND
MANY WOMEN NOT ONLY TOLERATE BUT WELCOME SUCH INTRUSIONS. I HAVE JUST ABOUT
GIVEN UP GOING OUT WITH FEMALES IN PUBLIC FOR THE INTRUSION OF MALES. UNLESS
YOU WEAR NOMAKEUP AND BAGGY CLOTHES, THEY WILL NOT LEAVE YOU ALONE. I TELL
YOU THAT MY AGE THEY ARE STILL DRIVING ME CRAZY, WHEN I WEAR NICE CLOTHES
AND SOME MAKEUP. WHEN THEY SEE THE PHYSICAL BEAUTY, THEY CANNOT CONTROL
I REALIZE THEY ARE SICK WITH NEED, BUT THERE HAS TO BE SOME CURTAILMENT IN
OUR SOCIETY, SOME PENALTY OR REDRESS FOR WOMEN WHEN THEY ARE PUBLICLY
HARRASSED. MY DREAM IS THAT SOME DAY WHEN WE HAVE MATRIARCHY, THERE WILL BE
FEMALE OFFICERS EVERYWHERE, AND I MEAN EVERYWHERE. AND IF A MALE OR MEN ARE
BOTHERING YOU, YOU JUST GIVE THEM A NOD AND THEY COME UP AND SAY,
'WERE YOU INVITED? DID THESE WOMEN INVITE YOU OVER?'
THEN YOU THE VICTIM, CAN SAY,
'NO, WE DO NOT WELCOME THIS.'
THEN THE OFFICER SAYS,
'WILL YOU KINDLY LEAVE OR ELSE I WILL HAVE TO ARREST YOU.'
THERE CAN WITHOUT A DOUBT BE CHARGES FOR HARRASSING, ACCOSTING, BOTHERING,
BEING A NUISANCE, JUST AS YOU CAN REPORT A STALKER.
SUZIEQ, IT IS NOT AS FAR FETCHED AS YOU ARE SAYING. IN 100,000 TO 200,000
YEARS MALES WILL BE EXTINCT, ...WE WILL HAVE A WOMAN ONLY WORLD. I AM
WORKING TOWARD THAT DAY OF LIBERATION. BUT BEFORE THAT HAPPENS, MEN ARE
DETERIORATING AND BECOMING FEMININE QUITE FAST, AND THAT WILL HELP US.
SINCE MALES ARE NOT TRAINED TO RESPECT WOMEN BUT THE OPPOSITE, UNTIL THEY
ARE PROPERLY TRAINED WE NEED POLICE EVERYWHERE LOOKING OUT FOR US. IF THE
GOVERNMENT WILL NOT DO IT, WHEN WOMEN GET WEALTHY YOU COULD HAVE PRIVATE
FORCES LIKE THE ROADSIDE SERVICES FOR CARS. YOU PAY A MONTHLY OR YEARLY FEE
TO SUCH A SERVICE AND HOPE TO GOD MILLIONS OF WOMEN SUBSCRIBE. THEY SHOULD
BE AROUND EVERYWHERE BUT IF NOT, WITHIN A PHONE CALL AWAY. THESE POLICE
OFFICERS WOULD BE QUALIFIED MORESO THAN THE AVERAGE PERSON TO HANDLE
PROBLEMS AND VIOLENCE; MARTIAL ARTS EXPERTS, CARRYING SOME SORT OF WEAPON,
STRONG AND AGGRESSIVE OR VERY SAVVY IN PSYCHOLOGY, ALL OF THE ABOVE, TRAINED
ALSO. WOMEN ARE NOT TRAINED USUALLY IN FIGHTING AND WARFARE, WHEREAS BOYS
FROM CHILDHOOD ARE ENCOURAGED TO FIGHT AND ENGAGE IN ROUGH SPORTS. WOMEN NOW
NEED TO BECOME REALLY STRONG, OR AT LEAST HAVE STRONG FEMALES PROTECTING
THEM...IT WOULD BE GREAT IF ALL FEMALES WERE ENCOURAGED TO DEVELOP
THEMSELVES IN MARTIAL ARTS AND COMBAT. LOOK AT ALL THE TRAINING THESE SCUM
GET IN THE MILITARY AND IN THE POLICE FORCE. THEY ARE TRAINED TO KILL AND DO
DAMAGE, AND THEY FREQUENTLY USE THIS ON WOMEN. SO WOMEN HAVE TO BE ABLE TO
HOLD THEIR OWN.
Then you are in a group - any group. And if there are any decisions to be
made or leadership roles to be exerted, they automatically think it is them
who make the decisions and take roles of leadership. And some of the damned
women - sometimes all of them except me - permit the males to do this! I
want to knock their blocks off, but other women are so stupid they let the
men take over.
(SuzyQ) I can relate to this as well. One time when I discussed with a
friend the idea of opening a clothing store that catered to the needs of
petite women (as we were both petite), and I was adament that it would be a
woman-owned business with the two of us making all the decisions, my
friend's mind automatically wandered off to the possibility of allowing
males to "help us." Help is one thing, but as I was all too aware of the
fact that whenever you let males into anything, anywhere!!--they
automatically take over and call all the shots, and it is so easy for them
to take over especially when the females are not too confident and just
starting out. And I was frustrated too, that I had this idea for the two of
us, so that we could try to make a living and learn to make decisions away
from males, and my friend had to think of letting males in on our action.
Needless to say, I knew I couldn't stand the kind of energy this female was
giving me. She was always all about the males, even telling me that we need
to be more understanding toward them (yada yada yada).
RASA RESPONSE TO SUZYQ: MALES ARE SICK AND DANGEROUS AND THEY ARE ALSO
STUPID. BUT THEY HAVE BEEN TRAINED AND ENCOURAGED, AND I MUST ADMIT THAT AT
TIMES, THEY DO HAVE GOOD SKILLS, ABILITIES AND INTELLIGENCE. THESE ARE THE
EXCEPTIONS. I AGAIN ADMIT THAT ALL THE HELP I AM GETTING COMES FROM MALES,
SO IT IS TEMPTING AND PERHAPS THE ONLY ANSWER RIGHT NOW.
WOMEN ARE NOT HELPING WOMEN. WHO IS HELPING ME BUILD THIS CHURCH? THE LITTLE
HLEP I GET IS ALL FROM MALES, SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? WHOSE FAULT IS
BUT I DO UNDERSTAND THAT IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING WITH ANOTHER FEMALE, IT
SHOULD BE YOU AND HER, NOT YOU, HER AND THEM. THE CREATURES ARE EVERYWHERE.
WE CAN'T SHAKE THEM LOOSE, CAN WE?
HOW ABOUT CLUBS FOR WOMEN? HAVE YOU SEEN ALL THE YAHOO GROUPS FOR WOMEN
ONLY? SADLY, I DID JOIN MUCH OF THEM AND THEY WERE BORING AND MORE BORING.
THEY TALKED ABOUT NONSENSE AND SILLY STUFF, AND DAY BY DAY BULLSHIT LKE
WHERE TO FIND THE BEST SOCKS FOR MY SON, TRIVIAL, STUPID NONSENSE. JUST LIKE
WHEN FEMALES GET TOGETHER DO THEY TALK ABOUT ACTIVISM AND MATRIARCHY?
AGAIN, I MUST ADMIT, FEMALES TALK ABOUT MALES AND THEIR FAMILIES, MOSTLY.
THEY DO NOT DISCUSS LIBERATION AND MATRIARCHY OR WHAT TO ME ARE IMPORTANT
ISSUES - I ONLY HAVE ONE FEMALE FRIEND WHO DISCUSSES SPIRITUAL MATTERS,
WHICH I LIKE, BUT MOST OF THEM WANT TO TALK ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH
MALES, WHICH BORES ME OUT OF MY MIND. I CAN TAKE A BIT OF THIS, BUT THEY
WANT TO WAX AND WANE FOR HOURS, LIKE ALL OF LIFE CENTERS AROUND MALES! MALES
COULD NOT DO ALL THE DAMAGE THEY DO IF FEMALES DID NOT IN SOME WAY PERMIT
THIS OR COOPERATE WITH IT. THAT IS WHAT IS SO INFURIATING AND FRUSTRATING,
THE COOPERATION OF THE FEMALES!
My idea of dominanace is not to let them slobber all over me with their
disgusting fetishes and sex perversions, but to have them look upon me
respectfully and listen to me, and do what I ask, if we are in a
relationship. Fix something, build something, do the shopping, do something
constructive for me, give me a donation - things like that are what I
daydream men will do for me, not putting their tongues on my body because
they have an obsessive need which is not my need.
Domination is also freedom; the freedom to go to the best schools and be
treated with the respect; the freedom to get a good job and get equal pay;
the freedom of speech and behavior at least equal to that which men have.
And so, the article was about women's freedom in all walks of life, not who
is on top or who is on the bottom in sex.
This is what I refer to as being long in coming. If I wanted to dominate a
man sexually, I or any skilled female can do that instantly. Men will crawl
over jagged rocks infested with rattlesnakes if you promise them sex, and
you can control them any which way through sex. This has been true for ages;
ok, I admit it doesn't always work, only 99% of the time (laugh.) So if this
is your idea of 'domination' it is a pitiful imitation of it in my book. To
me being the dominant person is being free to have autonomy, to go where you
want to go, to have the money to do things you like, and to be able to
express yourself in the way you choose.
Oh, about males and what they will do for sex. I remember this one time when
I was hanging around my brother and his classmates, and one of the guys was
being so loud and obnoxious, and my brother later said that the guy was one
of the most immature guys he's ever met, and the sad thing was that he's a
father already (the guy was quite young, maybe around 20). He went on to
tell me that the way the guy got his girlfriend pregnant was, he drove one
night to her house, and he pulled a ladder out of his trunk, and climbed up
the girl's bedroom window, and he went in and "took her virginity."
I said, "That sounds like a lot of work ... " (Of course in my female mind I
just couldn't comprehend why any creature would risk getting caught for
breaking and entering and ... well, just looking so stupid!!!) My other
brother said, "The guy wanted to get laid." It was so simple for another
male to understand. He wanted to get laid, period.
I dream of freedom and autonomy too, Mother Rasa. It's painful not to have
the strength to hold up your head high, and to be able to walk around
outside at any time of day or night, without worrying about whether a dumb
male might approach you, and something bad might happen, and you'll get
blamed for whatever the male did to you... as females we're expected to be
sensible and are to be held accountable for whatever might happen with a
male (if he should attack or postpone the attack), but the males (with the
excuse that they can't help themselves under their belts), they have all the
power ... I don't know, maybe in another 100 000 years things will be
RASA ANSWERS SUSYQ: I HAVE HEARD MORE STORIES LIKE THIS AND I WONDER, HOW
COULD A FEMALE IN HER OWN HOUSE ALLOW IT? I THINK IN SOME CASES SHE TOLD HIM
WHERE HER WINDOW WAS, AND HE CLIMBED IN. HARD TO BELIEVE SHE WAS NOT
COMPLICIT. SHE COULD HAVE SCREAMED AND STOPPED IT, BUT SHE DID NOT.
JEN WRITES COMMENTS ON RASA'S ARTICLE...RASA RESPONDS AFTER:
"Likewise many women are still household and wage slaves, and it is
changing, but give us time."
Dearest beloved Rasa, thank you once more for an insightful piece. I
appreciate your analogies of wild vs. domesticated animals. I will share
something with you that I posted to my 3chairs group a little while ago.
Love and devotion always,
Thank you, Bob, for sharing this story. Today feels distressing in many
ways, a grim reminder of where lack of self restraint leads, and of how much
damage it can cause. My daughter learned that a friend of hers she met at
school last year was severely beaten by his stepfather. This boy called
Miriam from the hospital yesterday, to tell her what had happened. Another
incident: Last night, an obvious stake-out took place a few blocks away. At
least two police cars were sitting and waiting, watching. It wasn't until
this morning that the newspaper revealed what had happened. A man shot his
wife in the face, repeatedly, killing her, in the parking lot of a church.
He fled the scene. I don't know whether he's been captured. How does one
live in a world where such things take place, far too often? What is wrong
with people? I sometimes have impulses to behave badly, when my
circumstances bring me to a point of despair, but do not resort to criminal
behavior. No anger, annoyance, resentment, or any other state of being could
possibly justify me behaving in a criminal manner. Yet people snap. Why is
it so easy for people to cross that line? The woman killed in the parking
lot yesterday. Why was her husband so angry? She was in the process of
divorcing him. Apparently, she had suffered many years of his abusive
behavior and finally had gotten the courage to leave. He wouldn't have that,
wouldn't allow it. Was his pride so badly damaged, or was it something else?
It makes me question the seemingly mandatory nature of suffering. Who is
deserving of the abusive behavior of a spouse? Nobody. Why is it that an
abused spouse gets punished for doing the "right" thing? Incidents like this
are what force women in unhappy marriages to stay in.It is fear of what
might happen as a result of the bruised ego of the abuser.
PLEASE BEAR IN MIND THT THIS IS NOT PEOPLE THAT ARE VIOLENT OR A TERRIBLE
EVIL WORLD, IT IS MALES WHO ARE VIOLENT AND MALES MOSTLY WHO MAKE THIS A
RECENTLY I READ AN ARTICLE THAT BROUGHT OUT HOW PEOPLE ARE NOT ADMITTING
THAT RAPE IS DONE BY MEN TO WOMEN. THEY USE THE TERM 'SHE WAS RAPED.' THE
TERM SHOULD BE 'A MALE RAPED A WOMAN.'
'VIOLENCE IN THE SCHOOLS' SHOULD BE PROPERLY TERMED, 'MALE VIOLENCE.'
VIOLENCE IN THE HOME IS ALMOST ALWAYS MALE VIOLENCE.
VIOLENCE HAS A FACE, AND IT IS THE FACE OF A MALE.
WILL PEOPLE COME FORWARD FOR MATRIARCHY TO END THIS? LET'S RIP THEIR NUTS
OUT AND END THEIR VIOLENCE. HOW CAN WE DO THIS? IN A MILLION WAYS. CHANGE
OUR THOUGHTS THAT WE ARE THE POWER, THE LEADERS, THE ALPHA DOGS, ...WE LEAD,
IT WILL TAKE TIME AND WORK ON MANY FRONTS, BUT LET US CHANGE OUR THINKING.
WE MUST BECOME MORE POWERFUL FROM WITHIN, RECEIVE OUR POTENTIAL AND OUR
INSTINCT TO DOMINATE. WE ARE THE SUPERIOR SEX, WE ARE DESIGNATED BY GOD TO
LEAD THE FAMILY AND THE WORLD. KEEP TALKING, KEEP POSTING THE TRUTH, AND
HOPE OTHERS, ESPECIALLY THE YOUNGER GENERATION, WILL BE INFLUENCED. WE MUST
WORK TOGETHER, MATRIARCHAL MEN AND WOMEN, TO END THIS PATRIARCHAL
STRANGLEHOLD ON OUR PLANET.