Rasa Von Werder
'Female Friendly Femdom' - William Bond grapples with what women need.
I saw these posts on William's group Matriarchal_Politics. First, the
announcement for a new group, and earlier, a survey which I herewith fill
in, then my comments follow.
Mission Statement of new group:
There are far less Women in Femdom than men and if we
want more Women, we have to make FemDom Female
Femdom is a paradox: Because it should be about Women
dominating men. Yet the reality is, that many FemDom
men, 'top from the bottom'. That is to say, they
demand and tell Women how act out their sexual
fantasies. True Dominant Women do not like this type
of behaviour and for this reason reject FemDom
completely. This is why there is far more men within
Femdom than Women.
So this group is about True FemDom where men do not
make any demands on Women and their role is only to
serve and do only want the Women want.
Rasa: earlier this was posted on the same group by William with my answers:
William: I was talking to a friend of mine today and the subject of FemDom
came up. We talked about the fact that Femdom seemed to be dominated
by men as men seem to be far more interested in this scene than
Women. Mostly because the FemDom scene is more about what men want,
rather than what Women want.
My friend then made the point; if there was a shortage of Women in
the Femdom scene then it was up to men, to make Femdom far more
attractive to Women, if they wanted more Women participate in it.
Which I thought was a really important point.
So I would like to put this questions to Women and men.
1. How can we change the Femdom scene to make it more interesting to
UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS OF WOMEN WOULD BE PARAMOUNT, BUT ONCE UNDERSTOOD,
WILL YOU FILL THEIR BILL?
2. What will men have to do to attract more Women into the Femdom
ONE THING THEY MIGHT DO IS STOP LYING TO WOMEN AND THEMSELVES. THEY ALWAYS
TELL US THEY WANT TO SERVE US, BUT IN REALITY THEY WANT US TO SERVE THEM.
AFTER MANY YEARS INVOLVEMENT - HAD MY FIRST SLAVE AGE NINETEEN - AND 12
YEARS IN PROFESSIONAL FEMDOM, I KNOW WHEREOF I SPEAK. EACH 'SLAVE' HAS AN
AGENDA AND IT NO DIFFERENT THAN ORDINARY LIFE AND PERHAPS EVEN MORE
ENTRAPING, AS WHAT THEY WANT IS FAR MORE INVOLVED, CUMBERSOME AND DEMANDING
THAN WHAT THE AVERAGE MAN NEEDS. I SPOKE OF SUCH ISSUES MONTHS AGO UNDER
ARTICLES LIKE 'CAN FEMDOM MEN CUT THE MATRIARCHAL MUSTARD' AND 'IS FEMDOM
THE PLACE TO FIND A MAN FOR A MATRIARCHAL RELATIONSHIP' WITH MY CONCLUSIONS
SAYING NOT VERY LIKELY TO BOTH QUESTIONS.
3. What is it about the present FemDom scene that Women don't like?
THE DECEPTION! DECEIVING US THAT THEY ARE OBEDIENT, DOCILE, SUBMISSIVE AND
THEY WILL ACTUALLY MEET OUR NEEDS AND DESIRES, BUT WHEN WE TEST THEM, THEY
ARE EVEN MORE OBSESSED AND SELFISH THAN REGULAR MEN.
4. What do Women want from passive men?
WILL BE EXPLAINED FULLY IN MY COMMENTS FOLLOWING, BUT BASICALLY WE WANT TO
BE LOVED AND SUPPORTED, HAVING OUR EMOTIONAL AND TEMPORAL NEEDS MET. WE NEED
A MAN THAT WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO HELP WITH THE HARDSHIPS OF LIFE AND CARE
WHEN WE ARE SUFFERING, HAVING STRESS, ANXIETY, CONFUSION AND TROUBLE. WE
WANT THEM TO HELP PAY OUR BILLS AND TO CARE IF WE GET SICK OR COME UP
AGAINST A MOUNTAIN. A GOOD MAN IS A BEST FRIEND. WE DO NOT WANT TO BE
DRAINED BY THEIR NEVER ENDING OBSESSIONS AND FETISHES, WHICH IS BASICALLY
WHAT FEMDOM MEN'S INTERESTS CENTER AROUND. THEY PERCEIVE US AS OBJECTS TO
SATISFY THEIR CRAVINGS, ADDICTIONS AND FETISHES. IN SUCH A STATE THEY ARE
UNSUPPORTIVE OR ONLY PARTIALLY SUPPORTIVE TO US, DEPENDING ON HOW MUCH WE
SERVE THEM. IF WE FAIL TO SERVE THEIR DOMINATION NEEDS THEY FLY THE COOP.
THIS IS NOT SUBMISSION, THIS IS USING US.
5. What will men have to learn to please Women and to serve them in
the way they want to be served?
THEY NEED TO BECOME HONEST AND VIRTUOUS, A TALL BILL.
6. How can we use the Femdom scene to train patriarchal minded men to
become truly Matriarchal men?
WE ARE DOING IT THROUGH ARTICLES, BOOKS AND EXAMPLE. IT WILL TAKE TIME.
WHAT DO WOMEN NEED?
By Rasa Von Werder
Here we go again, men, hat in hand asking us what we need. I somehow sense
the beau eagerly standing before the girl asking how he can please her, but
'What do I have to do to get into your pants?'
The present status is that men and women are at cross purposes. Men hate to
put in the investment needed to find the right women, cultivate the
relationship, and be there for her, responsible and dependable. They prefer
to hit and run, slam, bam, thank you ma'am, have sex and disappear.
'They cum and they go,'
'They jump on your belly and fill you with jelly.'
Not only do they do this, but their love of sex makes them - not us - more
likely to transmit diseases and they are also physically dangerous.
Relationships with men, the dating game, are traumatic for women, as they
can get hurt in lots of ways. There is the loss of health, danger to life
and limb, and then, the loss of reputation when men declare women they have
'had' to be 'whores and sluts.' Studies show that having sex with men is
actually stressful to women because they feel sex is something they had to
'give in to' and that the male got what he wanted, while she herself was
exploited and overwhelmed by his needs.
The surprise to the men that come at us with hat in hand or fetish in mind
is that our lives are in a different place entirely, and we are not centered
on sex, fetish or straight - that is their problem.
As far as handling their sex or fetish needs, it is mostly a dreary
business. Do you think that women in the adult trade are having fun? Do you
think that when we give in to male needs we find it a jolly undertaking, or
are we mostly tolerating their neediness and giving in to it because we
can't get out of it? That is to say, if we don't give them what they want,
there is a snowflake's chance in Hell of their doing anything for us. At the
very least, I suggest to women to keep them hanging, up to twenty years,
giving us what we want while they wait to get the fulfillment of their lust.
Now to answer the question: Here is what women need:
1. They need their bills paid, they need resources. Being the 'second sex'
by way of Patriarchy, lack of money is a problem. Lack of resources is also
a problem to women who are not poor, but need resources for freedom of
speech, artistic endeavors and pursuits such as business building.
2. We need childcare. In this evil Patriarchy, one of the most dismal
situations, being that we live in nuclear families, is lack of child care
and supervision. This keeps each woman tied down to her own domicile, and
each woman has to take care of each child and family alone while he is away.
This is not good for Mother or children, as the extended Matriarchal family
will oversee and provide not only baby sitting, but excellent advise,
trouble shooting, nurturing, intimacy, stimulation and teaching
opportunities, all of which are important for Mom and babes.
Second and equally important is the Matriarchal family will protect the
Mother and children from male abuse be it intimidation, imprisonment,
battering and all sorts of abuse including child abuse. It is far less
likely any of this can happen in a home where say three women are present at
all times, including elder women with experience. Elder women are aware what
men are up to and what they are capable of doing and they will provide
supervision against this.
3. We need freedom to enjoy life, to walk the streets day and night with
safety, to travel in safety, without being constantly afraid of male
stalking, harassing, rape and violence.
4. As far as dating and courtship, women want to be courted, wooed,
cherished, treated with respect, for long period of engagement with males
showing all deference, kindness, consideration; bringing flowers, candy and
other gifts, to show her their devotion and commitment. She might have more
than one suitor, and each one would have to carry out requests of various
sorts of help if needed. Men will simply have to take the chance that they
will lose out in this game and she will choose someone else. But if he
respects her enough, he will woo her.
If men do not respect women - and I notice Femdom men online are totally
disrespectful - then they will bring their sex needs to her right in the
'Here is my bag of tricks that I want you to see, listen to, hear me out,
discuss ad nausea, and then maybe I can even get you to perform, jump
through hoops for me.'
This is what men want, who have approached females on the internet. One of
the most nauseating things is to listen to their fetishes. Women get paid
for this, because they are invasive, disrespectful, and at the very least,
boring as Hell. But Femdom men get on these groups and want the reader to
listen to their disgusting and boring fetishes, thinking women are daft
enough to get TURNED ON by this insanity and then receive them as 'sub
missives' and fulfill their dirty needs. Not this woman. I learned over a
time of many years THAT YOU THE WOMAN END UP SERVING THEM, NOT THEY SERVING
4. When a woman actually accepts a man and is willing to have intimate
relations, what does she want then? Women want affection, tenderness, charm,
to be stroked, petted, touched for long periods of time before 'the real'
sex. They do not get turned on by 'quickies' which men mostly want. Women
want ROMANCE, the feeling of being loved, where the man takes time and
energy to attend to their emotional needs. This sort of love and romance
continues all the time, in the way he talks to you, the way he listens and
answers, the way he looks at you, with either love or indifference. Some men
take you out and STARE at other women; that is really ugly. The basic things
men need to learn are compassion, empathy, dependability, consideration, how
to listen attentively, and how to support the women in all their needs. But
most of them care only about themselves and expect women to give them what
they want; that is what is so ugly, disgusting and perverse about men.
5. The bad news for men is that Matriarchy is indeed, coming, and it has
nothing to do with what men give women. Women are taking life into their own
hands, they are now using their natural energies and powers to usurp and
outpace men in so many areas. As this continues, males are falling behind
until the point where they will have less resources, opportunities and
freedoms. Women are ascending, men are descending.
It will get to a point where males will have nothing left to give women as
control or leverage to get what THEY want, but they will finally have to
give women what THEY want. The rules will change. Males will no longer have
the upper hand. And their lies will not work, because women will say if you
can do this and that for me, then go ahead and do it, prove it, whereas
today they are promising all sorts of things such as material goods and
submission, getting what they want and not delivering. I might add here,
that at the very least, getting the woman's TIME and ATTENTION are valuable
commodities which women are WASTING on selfish losers. We do have better
things to attend to.
My word to the Femdom men who seek only their own pleasure is that the
reason there are so few women in Femdom is they do NOT enjoy giving you what
you want. When I was in the business I charged for my time, speaking to them
on the phone, like $50. for half an hour. It was TEDIOUS, BORING and
sometimes you could not wait to get off the phone after reciting their
scripts. And you expect women to give you this service FOR FREE?
If you were actually offering women something they wanted, there would be
lots of women in Femdom, but you are not, and most women instinctively know
this. After all, as a gender, we get abused and exploited, average age of
sex abuse starts at age eighteen months, in diapers. So half of all women
have been sexually molested since childhood, and one quarter of males, and
males are the perpetrators. Then you grow up and you have harassment,
sexism, innuendos, ugly jokes, dirty insults, and continual talk of sex from
almost all men you meet, not to mention that women are not protected by the
Judicial system as men are. Yes, men, the protagonists of violence and
abuse, are protected by the system, but women, the victims are not; women
Now, back to Femdom men: So you think by putting adds in for 'submissive'
and listing your fetishes you are going to draw women? They meet one or two
of you and they get the picture. When I was nineteen I was first approached
by a 'slave' and I tried it out, as it sounded like something for nothing.
He was going to do my housework and all, and get nothing in return. But the
truth is he did everything badly, and I had to watch and train him every
minute, and could have done everything myself in no time, and his physical
presence was totally weird and unpleasant. It was a total waste and when I
told him I was going to have him take me to dinner, go get the car, he went
to the car and drove off. Later, he called me and said the reason he took
off was because,
'You were being too nice to me.'
There it was, at age nineteen, I learned my lesson - there is no such thing
as a slave. I never tried it again until I started a business years later.
And so, my final word as to why there are so few women in the scene is that
they are not foolish enough to be there.
Get Rasa's fantastic book, which features many great articles by William
Bond, 'Can Female Power Save the Planet - The Fate of the World Depends on
Coming next: Within the next three months three new books will be out! Just
look under the name, Rasa Von Werder, on Amazon.com, for all her books.