1. Raleigh speaks of the problems poor women (and men) have with
coping. Rasa comments.
2. Beautiful woman is harrassed by immature man. Rasa comments.
Dear Guru Rasa,
Not all women have the great life that we see on the daily soap
operas, Desperate HouseWives, Sex in the City, Friends.
*** Oh, how very true. I think they portray them all in the
upper-middle class level. While the apartments of even average people
look like the domiciles of millionaires.~~~~~
I hear that Julia Louis-Dreyfus is going to do a sitcom on an reality
based woman , who has real problems. I have to see it to believe it,
as most TV shows so a picture that all woman are financially
comfortable, have a great emotional support system, and have nice
clothes, a roof over their heads, and good food in the house.
Unfortunately this is not he reality I see..
*** You see right. This is not reality. One of the poorest things I
ever lived through was NO SUPPORT FROM FAMILY FINANCIALLY OR MORALLY.
IN FACT, THEY COLLECTIVELY ABUSED, IGNORED AND NEGLECTED ME. From
one strong willed abusive Mother, the outrage against me fanned out
into Aunt, Uncle, siblings, while Dad just stood by letting it happen.
This is poverty, this is suffering. There is no one to turn to at
school, no adult friends, no social system to complain to. This in
the days before they coined the term 'abuse.' Later, when I grew up,
this abuse translated into 'did not do college due to running away
from home at sixteen' so there was no 'decent' or 'respectable' job to
fall back on. I was very good in show biz though, and did very well
with that. But never had the love of society, as patriarchy turns us
women into Pariahs.
This is poverty.
The reality: well read Barbara Erenreich's works, as her book Nickel
and Dimed , explains it better than I ever could. I can give you the
sad highlights of what I see.
Homes with roaches crawling all over. Women who try their best to
keep things clean, but the building is infested and the landlord
doesn't care ( he has a separate home in the suburbs!!), Women who
are struggling to feed three young kids, and work at jobs with no
lunch breaks,-- a bag of bargain chips on the run is all they can
afford and have time for lunch. They go home and pig out on junk (
hot dogs and more chips), as they are tired with no money or energy to
cook. We are what we eat, NO time or money to buy or prepare a nice
salad with real green foods. I read your blog on healthy eating,
Guru Rasa and printed it out. I learned much from it and teach it to
these Moms. BTW, I am also writing a book on survival for the homeless
families, with a matriarchal slant. Many of the Moms I work with are
on food stamps and can't afford some of the foods you highly recomend
( e.g avocados).
*** I knew someone would bring that up. Raleigh, people can eat
apples and carrots. I eat 2-3 apples and ten 'baby carrots' daily. I
almost never eat avocados any more. (Once, in California, I found a
man who had an avocado tree in his yard. I knocked on the door and
asked him if I could take a few a day. He said yes, but they were no
good, full of veins. I ate them anyway. It was the only fat in my
diet. At that time I was a vegan.
But I do understand. I recall when I could not afford to buy this bag
of cashews, and just stood there staring at it, wanting it so much,
like someone staring at it like pornography, for five minutes, longing
I donate money from my pockets to help them eat right.
I can go on: --Kids at home, with no supervision,
*** and if the boyfriend or even Dad watches them, there can be
sexual abuse or neglect.
so Mom can bust her butt working for minimum wage at three part time
jobs at K-Mart, Happy Maid Service, and MacDonald's. The jobs are
part time, so she has no health insurance. She has to lose time from
work when her kids are sick, waiting in long lines at public health
*** Oh, what misery! My heart goes out to poor people! The great
thing about this suffering is it made us strong. I look back upon the
pains of my life, all sorts of poverties, and I feel I have won all
kinds of medals. Imagine if I had not suffered, I might be cold,
calloused, selfish and superficial like so many others. But I knew
all kinds of education. I knew physical, mental, emotional, spiritual
poverty and I am so grateful! But I do not wish pain on anyone, I
like you, Raleigh, have tried to help - to give love in all ways.
For me it is natural and right to help, for to me it is a Crisis in
I pray that you continue to fight to make this world better for Women.
What actions am I taking?? I find when I work hard for my significant
other ( she works at a professional job in the legal profession) ,
e.g. bust my arse to clean and decorate her apartment so it looks like
a picture book dream apartment, fix her nutritious and balanced meals,
and make her life comfortable, so she can come home and just RELAX, it
comes back in that she has more energy and time to help homeless women
on the legal/financial end, while I help on the practical life skills end.
*** This is so wonderful, Raleigh, I am so proud of you!
I think this is a beginning to creating better karma in the world.
Thank you, Steve, and Jen for your encouragement!!
*** Raleigh, you are wonderful, and I love you with all my heart.
(Rasa) (PS In spite of his own lack, Raleigh is right now the only
person who sends me a generous donation each month, no matter what....)
THE DANGERS OF BEING STRONG & BEAUTIFUL
VENUS CANNOT SHAKE OFF A MISERABLE SUITER
(Tale told by Venus,
comments by Rasa ***)
Well said Sister! This man is sitting on the internet looking for a
woman like myself to rescue his from his miserable, poverty stricken
He is looking for a savior. It does not occur to him that a woman
like myself has no desire to take on that sort of burden and misery.
He wanted to believe in his delusions no matter how many times I
would tell him the truth about the matter. He wanted to feel like I
would be with him when in reality I told him I would not. Not only
was he severely lacking in humility, respect and self awareness, he
had nothing to offer me.
*** I HAVE KNOWN MULTITUDES OF SUCH MEN (BEING IN THE PUBLIC SERVICE
TRADE, ENTERTAINMENT, ALL MY LIFE...AND ALSO BEING BEAUTIFUL) AND THE
ARE FOLLOWERS, HANGERS ON, AND IN THE END, ALL 'LOSERS.' NOT LOSERS
TO GOD, OF COURSE, GOD LOVES EVERYONE. BUT THEY HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE
A WOMAN BUT ENDLESS PROBLEMS. THEY NEED A MOTHER, A CAPTAIN, A
THERAPIST, A POWERFUL, PATIENT, LONG-SUFFERING HEALER. THEY USE WOMEN
FOR THEIR NURTURING ABILITIES.
And I am not speaking from a material sense but from a spiritual
sense. However, he continued to hold on to his false illusions and
dreams hoping one day he could change my mind and that I would fall
into his own sick delusions and make them part of my own.
When I attempted to impart a deeper wisdom to him in regards to his
behaviors and his desires he would become defensive and insultive.
*** JUST LIKE A CHILD, BECAUSE HE IS ONE. AND NOT A GOOD CHILD, A
He could not see what he needed to see in order to create a greater
sense of inner purpose and live out his potentiality in being.
When I would block him or tell him not to contact me anymore he
would beg, cry and tell me he cannot live without me.
*** TEMPER TANTRUMS. EMOTIONAL LEVEL NO HIGHER THAN TWELVE.
there something wrong with this picture? Then he would try to be
humble and nice but it would only last a short period before he
would start the cycle all over again. Can anyone imagine being
involved with or living with this sort of person?
*** YES I HAVE HAD SUCH PERSONS IN MY LIFE. LIVING HELL.
And when I would block him and go on merrily with my own existence
he would make up different screen names and come contact me. Often
I would have to block all. Then when that wouldn't work he would
email me. After a while when he could not contact me for several
months he sent me an email telling me how much he wanted to learn to
be a submissive male.
*** ANOTHER PLOY. IT WILL TAKE HIM THIRTY MORE YEARS TO GROW UP,
So hence, I told him to rejoin matriarchy and
begin the process of opening his heart and mind towards learning.
*** TYPICAL SOFT HEARTED, LOVING, NURTURING FEMALE. THEY PREY ON
US. I ALSO AM LEARNING THE HARD WAY TO JUST SMASH THE DOOR IN THEIR FACE.
As everyone can see he wasn't here long and he could not be a part
of a larger social order without conflict, ego and defensiveness.
*** HE WAS JUST BEING HIMSELF. THERE ARE SO MANY WANKERS IN THE
FEMDOM WORLD. AM NOT SURE IF HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PART OF THIS, BUT
I MET THEM IN THAT WORLD FOR TWELVE YEARS. THEY ARE MOSTLY OUT FOR
PLEASURE, NOT THE BENEFIT OF THE FEMALE. AND THEY ARE TROUBLE, TOO
MANY OF THEM ARE.
A little history about Mohammed....he studied to become a teacher
and taught mathematics in the capital of Morocco. Some years ago he
met a woman whom he said he was engaged to be married. After a few
years of having a relationship with this woman she suddenly ran off
to Europe and married a european. He was devastated, quit his
teaching job six years ago and has basically existed in a partial
depression since then. He has only worked sporadically claiming the
economic and job situation to be bad in morocco. I do not dispute
this however, I feel that he did not make an effort to be truly self
sufficient. Instead he bascially lives off his mother.
*** OH, MY GOD. DOESN'T THAT TELL ALL! HE IS PSYCHOLOGICALLY
DEPENDENT, HAS NOT GROWN UP. THESE TYPE PEOPLE USE AND ABUSE THE
STRONG ONES - BLAMING THE ONE THEY USE FOR ALL THEIR PROBLEMS. YOU
WILL BE LABELED THE ABUSER.
with his mother with other siblings.
When I spoke to him about his relationship with the former
girlfriend at first he was in big denial about that matter. However,
he admitted that he was jealous and did not treat her right. Of
*** AHA, YES, FINALLY ADMITTED. NO ONE COULD PUT UP WITH THIS MAN
BUT HIS OWN MOTHER OR A MASOCHISTIC SAINT.
Why else would she run off and marry another man? Thus, I
told him he had to begin the process of working inward, otherwise he
would never realize his goals of having a home, wife, inner harmony
and peace that he so desperately wants. Because of this experience
he has developed some type of inner anger against woman and does not
respect them....all to his detriment.
*** YES, THEY ALL HAVE THAT LOVE/HATE FOR US - AND WHEN WE DON'T
CATER TO THEM, THE HATE COMES OUT.
As one peeks into his world he is manifesting an inner conflict
outward because he depends on and is hopelessly needing and wanting
a strong woman who can guide him yet exhibits anger and
rebelliousness against the very thing he wants and desires more than
anything. In closing, I think he is also exhibiting a castration
complex which makes him feel very fustrated and angry.
What a poor, tortured soul! He should stop torturing himself lest he
drives himself completely mad!
*** BETTER HE DRIVES HIMSELF MAD THAN YOU! PLEASE, DEAR LADY, DON'T
GIVE HIM AN INCH TO GET BACK INTO YOUR LIFE! PRAY HIM AWAY!
Venus (comments by Rasa ***)
DISCUSSIONS HERE AND:
Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:28 am
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"Rasa Von Werder"
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