There are as many reasons for devotee's failing as there are for not
doing my homework. Here are a few:
* Want to hang on to delusion
* Do not want to give up addiction or attachment to someone or something
* Fear of change. I am petrified to change my lifestyle, beliefs,
usual way of being. I call this 'devotee transition trauma'
* Loss of faith, confidence and love in the guru. Got my devotion
* Exhaustion during the sadhana. Just gave up, fell apart, must rest
and be my old (not so great) self again. (This parrallels with the
inability to give up old lifestyle)
Here is an analogy. A person is living in a dim room. A large, dim
room filled with myriads of objects, shelves, furniture, pictures on
the walls, and thousands of paraphernalia. There are a few bulbs in
this room, here and there, with a bit of light, but the entire room is
This large room in dim light is the life of the devotee. Now what
happens when the devotee gets a huge dose of Light from the guru?
The entire room gets filled up with a powerful thousand watt bulb, and
everywhere, the person can see what s/he never saw before!
Some of this is frightening, because the person did not want to see
it, or not in such clarity. Some of these items here require change.
They are delusions, addictions and attachments. Delusions include
items from the past, the old things we thought we were, or that
someone else was, and now we see them for what they are. Example; we
thought our spouse was the cat's meow, but now we see she is just a
set of whiskers. Or the old man is a Knight in Shining Armour, but
now we see he's just a horse, and a nag at that. And what does that
make us? The man or woman who put up with the person we thought and
wanted to think was the greatest, but we deluded ourselves. And why
did we delude ourselves? Because it worked, being some sort of
physical, mental or emotional survival. But now that the Light is
here showing all this up, does the relationshp change? What do I do
now? Give up the old relationship? Give up my view of it? This can
be incredibly scary, like losing all the security one held on to.
These thoughts frighten a devotee, and at this point, the guru who
brought the Light can be rejected.
Then there are the habits and addictions. People are addicted to
medication, food and drugs, to sex, and even to sin. They are
addicted to doing something sinful - like deceiving their spouse. And
they do not want to give up their junk food, their medication, their
unhealthy lifestyle, and their sin. As the devotee comes closer to
the guru and the guru notices these failures, the devotee feels
pressure. The devotee does not have the resolve and courage to give
up these addictions, and instead, gives up the guru.
Then there are those I call the 'devotee for a day' crowd. They only
call or contact the guru when they need help. They do nothing in
return. That is to say, they make no commitment to the guru, they
have no contribution, no prasad, no donation. They pop in, praising
the guru, and get what they want. Then they dissapear until it is
next time I need something. Although they aren't total failures, some
of these people have a shallow love and commitment, and cannot make
great progress in their sadhana.
Last but not least, there is the devotee who receives a great gift,
but has not had time to let it grow. S/he wants to do battle with the
world, but isn't ready for it. This person is foolhardy and reckless,
presumptuous in his own power. He needs the help and support of the
guru, but wants to prove himself. So he goes out, without the
gurugrace or sanction, and battles. Then he falls, like a soldier in
the battlefield. How does he fall? It could be exhaustion, but
worse, it can be that unbelievers made him turn against his guru.
This person had a great love, but his roots were not yet deep enough.
You might call it a shallow oak tree, and although he has a good tap
root, it had not time to grow. The big animals, brutes, trampled on
him so badly, he got knocked down, even though he is a great oak, if
he had grown.
Now we come to devotee 'Love'. Devotee Love says he will now go off
until he finds perfection. Having been beaten up by unbelievers, he
leaves. He loses his original faith and love in his guru and goes off
- by himself - to find perfection.
Why does he think he can find perfection by himself? He waited for a
guru. A guru came. God came. He fell because he was not obedient to
the guru - did not stay close in intimacy. What should he do? Fall
to the mercy of the guru and ask for help. Instead, he makes his
second mistake. He, without making amends, leaves the guru and
friends (or so he says, but let's see how long.) Supposedly, he will
now work on his sadhana and find God alone. But is that kosher, when
God came to him as the guru and gave him grace? But now he
denigrates, demotes the guru in his mind, diminishes the guru. He even
judges the guru, writing a diabolical set of axioms a guru must embody
before he will accept her. This set of perfections Jesus Christ
Himself couldn't keep. But this is what he now expects from a guru,
and any less, he will reject.
How to be a Good Devotee.
If you want to be a good devotee, and find a good guru who loves you,
you are to stay close to the guru. You are to in some aspect, be
obedient. This does not mean being slavish or obsequious, it means
respect and love. You respect and love the guru the way you do God.
You imbibe the teachings of the guru. You listen and learn. You ask
Most devotees make demands on the guru and do not give back much. The
guru is the servant of the devotees. It is true, the guru has more to
give. But the devotee should also give to the best of their ability -
whatever it is that they have. If one finds a good guru, they are
worth serving and worth giving to. Naturally, use discretion in your
I myself have had two living gurus. The rest were intense
relationship with those on the Other Side. I received more from my
gurus than from any human on earth, in any way. Gurus are the gateway
to God. Even the worst gurus, be they of God, the most left handed and
maddening ones, are better than ordinary people. If anyone brings you
the grace of God, that Anointing, Shakti that gurus give, such a
person is worthy of respect. Be on your toes, be careful, how you
treat the guru, for God judges you on it. If you do not respect the
one God sends, you do not show respect to God. This is how love for
God is proven.
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