I have not wanted to write this article but our Dear God won't
'That you and God are One, and when they fear you (your Presence,
Anointing) they fear God, and the same benefit will come to them from
fearing you as fearing God.'
OK, God, you're on. Now first let's talk about what 'fear of the
You all know what human love is, as most of you are plagued with
desires and lusts for it, and when you love or are in love, you fear losing
that person. You will do whatever it takes to keep him/her and the same
All the Holy Souls who loved God with all their being loved God so much they
lived in constant fear of losing one iota of God's love or God's grace. I
live in that fear day in day out and have for many years. This fear is not a
negative but rather proof of love, and it is totally different than fear of
the world, fear of the devil, phobias and that sort of thing.
What I have noticed is that I can measure my devotees by how much
'fear' they have or don't have for me, by that I mean that most of them DO
NOT FEAR my opinion or offending me - the ones I have now mostly ignore me,
and show up from time to time for whatever reason, and most of the time I am
there for them. It is obvious by this that they are not deeply committed
and do not fear losing me.
I can only think of one devotee who for over a year now has had
true fear of offending me or losing the anointing that I give out, only one,
and this proves to me that this man is the most spiritually developed or
ascended one that I have.
This is not to say that all my devotees are low minded, they are not. Quite
a few have been through the betrothal or the mystical marriage, the marriage
being when the kundalini shakti rises all the way into the Sahasrara and
lights it up. This is the highest one can go, but there is still much
development and fine tuning that comes after this. I can think of Juana,
Kathleen, Kun Kin, Maureen, Eric, Jody, Alton, Tara, Raleigh, and a few
others (please check the devotee dreams and visions, and mine about them on
the site) who have gone into betrothal and Sahasrara, - these are exalted
states. But it does not turn them into instant paragons of virtue and
spiritual work and some of these very same souls who had reached this high
state fell into serious mistakes - wandered into the byways of human life
and certainly did not remain loyal.
So many questions arise here. Let me ask them.
Q 1 If a person receives grace and light from a Guru, do they always know
it? And do they know where they got it from if they know they got it?
A Absolutely not. People have different degrees of sensitivity or mystical
apprehension, or in other words, some people's minds are so much in the
world and the flesh, that when they receive grace and light they cannot
sense, see or feel it in a sensitive way, but nevertheless, something does
happen inside, and they react to it. They become attracted to the Guru not
knowing why, and they get quite emotional - but because they do not
understand what happened, they can also turn against the Guru quickly, being
unsure where they got what they got. If they knew it was the Guru for sure,
they'd be a little afraid of turning on her, but they don't. This has
happened to me in the last two years with about 4-5 devotees.
In the past, not with the internet crowd, I have seen my grace go
into people I know in the world. By hanging around me, they received it,
but did not understand who or what I am, and even though I constantly speak
of God, they do not realize that I am transmitting grace. Later, perhaps
months or a year after they lost contact with me, something happens, like
getting born again or advanced mystical experiences. They attribute these
events to other people or things that happened after me, not knowing that my
Light opened up their heart and mind to God, thereby allowing these things
to happen afterward.
Q 2 Do all people react the same way to the same experience and understand
A Absolutely not. The physical person can be totally different from one to
the other. One, let us say, is religiously/ spiritually savvy or educated,
the other is not. The educated one puts two and two together and figures
out what happened and why, but the other is in a daze, and unless I explain
it to her, she would not have the slightest idea what happened, although the
dreams and visions indicate great spiritual things have occurred. In fact
one of my devotees asked me,
'If I am so high, why can't I understand it?'
Very good question. This particular woman has the mind and
emotions of a child and dropped out of school at age 15 with pregnancy; then
there was abuse and severe trauma. She has some sort of problem where she
cannot read, and so, put it all together, after she met me, because of her
open and loving nature, great Light went into her, and she reached the
Sahasrara quickly. But she was in a daze as to what it meant and could not
articulate it at all, even after I explained it. A person could be One with
God and not be able to articulate or represent themselves properly, of this
you can be sure; whereas some charlatans and devils are so articulate and
educated they can fool and con many sheep. (To know what is inside another
takes discernment, look not at the mask but wait for the Holy Spirit to show
Q 3 I thought that those who receive your grace automatically follow you,
wish to serve you and stay close to you. Is that not so? That is if they
really got this grace, but if they don't want to help you it seems to me
they probably didn't get anything.
A Not so at all! In humans we have a tug of war between spirit and flesh.
Now with many humans, the flesh is tugging so hard, it wins quite often.
That's when I see my devotees go down hill, when their flesh wins. The
reason it wins, in some cases, is they let it win by not fighting against it
all the time. If you give a child a candy bar, it will always want one. If
you allow only healthy sweets, like fruit, honey, molasses and maple syrup
on top of fruit, and things like that, you have trained your child away from
candy and put them on a good path. Now people are like that. They have
given in to the candy - which is addictions to medications, alcohol, drugs
and sex, and if they have not struggled against the flesh for a long time
and think they need these things of the flesh and they actually pursue such
things, the flesh will win every time. Such a person, does not a good
devotee make, because the flesh keeps taking them away from Guru, church and
spiritual life. So they are like wayward children or delinquents, and
frequently they hate themselves for what they do, and yet they can't seem to
get a grip on.
Not all devotees fall by the flesh. Others have that under fair
control but fall through PRIDE - oh what an ugly one that is. One of my
betrothed devotees gave me some really hard times when he turned on me and
even became an extortionist demanding money from me for sins he imagined I
had committed, with which he would build shelters for battered women. This
went on for months until I threatened him with lawyers.
Q 4 What makes a good devotee? Describe a good one and one not good, and
how do they differ in their actions?
A A good devotee keeps the Guru in their mind and heart at all times, and
without venting or being a nuisance, consult with the Guru concerning all
their life's needs, including their love life. I do have one like that, but
only one. Because he is so open with me, I can protect him through all the
various relationships he has, whereas those who think they can wing their
romances without me are falling flat on their face. This devotee sends me a
donation each month, the amount he can afford, and never fails to send the
donation nor to stay in touch with his problems and needs.
I have devotees who run 'hot and cold.' When they are hurting
they call me daily or even more than once a day. I hold their hand, pray
for them, and counsel them intensely. Most of these got strong, and when
they did, they forgot me, no donation, no nothing. But they would remember
me suddenly in a beautiful dream or vision, I would appear, and they would
return, but again, after the feeling wore off, they go back to the world.
These I call fickle devotees. The difference between the 'steady' and the
'fickle' devotee is DEVELOPMENT OF MORAL VIRTUE. The steady devotee has
trained his mind and body to follow the path of righteousness, he is a just
man, whereas the fickle devotee is a dilettante and pretends to be more
virtuous than he is. He isn't a bad fellow at all, has a good heart, but he
has not curbed and disciplined himself, and so he is lukewarm and slothful
in the spiritual life.
To cap off this short article I will just add: When a devotee meets me and
I give them grace, the way they treat me is how they treat God, because I am
God in form or the manifestation of God in the flesh. I am not being
impertinent here and claiming equality with Jesus, nothing of the sort. But
in the way that yoga believes that God appears in form, this is who I am.
Now God up there 'in the sky' does not hold a report card in Her hand, but I
do. I watch and wait to see what you are doing, and so does God in eternity
watch what you will do to me, and so does the God within you. Fail me, and
you have failed God, support me, and you honor God. I learned this long ago
when I was in my twenties and had my one and only in-the-flesh guru. I KNEW
the way I treated her would determine my future with God, and I was
extremely careful to be obedient and generous, even though she was mean and
stingy. But because of her Anointing, I served her well. I paid my dues,
and certainly do know what it means to be a good devotee.
Become a Rasa devotee!: