We are not in disagreement when you say you feel sympathy for the weak and negative as you once were there. Feeling sympathy, and relying on them to come through, are two different things.
One of my lawyer friends gave me good advise recently,
'You can't be friends with your followers and devotees. You cannot cry on their shoulder. You cannot tell them your troubles. All their strength comes from you and if you break down the image they have, they fall apart. Keep up the image of invincibility.'
Then who do I tell my troubles to? Who is my friend? I wondered. The friend is someone who is also a leader and although far from perfect (as we all are and all my friends have had faults) yet that person will hold you up when you are down. RIGHT NOW I DO NOT HAVE SUCH A PERSON. THE LAST SUCH PERSON DIED THREE YEARS AGO. But the follower will not hold you up, the follower scatters like the sheep when they see a wolf, or else, huddles with the other sheep.
These weak and negative persons must be nurtured and fed, but they cannot be relied upon. You cannot rely on their promises (oh, how many promises and allegiance statements I got from devotees!) and their word, because they will probably fail you. If they help it is usually for a while, until they break down when trouble comes.
As far as you being negative in the past and still struggling - so who wasn't and who isn't? All I am saying to you is if you want HELP and someone to rely on to come through to help you with your writings and your mission the best bet is someone who is not full of hot air but who has a track record of success.
Let's talk about a key word here: SELF MOTIVATION. There are the self motivated, such as Arnold and myself, and there are those who forever lean on others, or look to others for strength and support. They look for individuals, cultural trends, and they make no original, creative decisions, but all is based on the past and the present. These people do not have faith, confidence or visualization. They cannot be pioneers or trailblazers or mavericks. They cannot change the mold but are destined forever to fill a certain frame, with limitations. These you cannot strongly rely on, although they certainly can do a bit of good here and there. But there are those who stick their necks out for a cause, and they are leaders for the good or for the bad. These people have an interior mechanism which motivates them and sets them apart from the crowd.
Now we both agree that MotherGod is the primary reason we have faith, hope and love. She is the fountain of security and the power from which we gain all that we have. Let us keep looking to Her.
November 7, 2005